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Sexual Development

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sexual dysfunctions - information, advice and treatmentSexual development

Were you given admonitions that it is naughty to touch, frequently accompanied by a slap on the hands, when you explored your genitals as a child?

All too often this kind of nonsense is followed at later periods with evasions, vague rambling lectures, embarrassment and miseducation.

Far too many girls grow up without a sound basic understanding of the role and sexual functions of woman.

The instillation of fear, plus a lack of knowledge of sex and of contraception work together to warp the mind of the frigid woman.

Add to this, a lack of understanding on the part of the man, due to faulty sex education or selfishness, and an unsuccessful relationship will definitely result.

The behavior of the man and his attitude toward his woman will have a great bearing on her possible sexual attitude.

Sexually, the woman is dependent on the man. He plays, as we pointed out, a more active role in sex, the woman a more passive one.

An inexperienced man, or one who is selfish in his sex relationships, can do serious harm to his woman’s whole sex life.

The practice of withdrawal (coitus interruptus) as a contraceptive measure may have a bad effect because the failure to achieve orgasm leaves the woman with congested sex organs and in a state of nervous tension and dissatisfaction.

Video - Premature ejaculation

Of course, these days we would recommend masturbation as a cure for sexual frustration!

Sexual problems in the man, of which premature or rapid ejaculation is the most common factor, can also induce anorgasmia in a woman by constant disappointment and frustration, because the man loses his erection when he has ejaculated, for sure.

But that is not in any way impotence or erectile dysfunction as we define it today. As with anorgasmia, there are both physical and psychological causes for impotence.

Premature ejaculation is psychological in origin.

Most of the following discussion of anorgasmia applies as well to premature ejaculation.

Most anorgasmia can be overcome. A couple must understand that intercourse is a give and take proposition.

The first embraces are merely the first steps toward unity. It takes a long time and willing effort to create a real relationship. Both man and woman require a thorough education in sex anatomy and function. They should learn the correct techniques of the sex act.

The man must patiently study his woman, learn how to stimulate her desire and find the key to providing the best means of pleasing her.

His tact and wisdom in overcoming the effects of  sexual apprehensions, sexual dysfunction, and unpleasant sexual experiences can go a long way toward achieving success.

He will also find that his own pleasure will increase and will last longer as his woman responds to his considerate behavior.

 It is the paradox of love that each partner finds his own happiness and satisfaction increasing with every effort to bring greater joy to the other partner.

The woman, on her part, can make her sex life more happy by facing her problem honestly.

She must understand that disinterest or disgust in sexual matters is no indication of special virtue or great spirituality and refinement. It is a defect of her essential womanhood, a lack of physical and emotional qualities.

Instead of evading the problem by pretended headaches, tiredness, feigned illness or any of the many excuses the reluctant woman offers, she should discuss the problem frankly with her partner and try, together with him, to improve conditions.

The young couple who have come so far in seeking knowledge are already preparing for the next step: raising their own youngsters in an atmosphere of enlightenment and understanding.

The modern parent, recognizing the emotional difficulties stemming from his own bad sexual education, is anxious that his children receive intelligent information.

That certainly is the best way to avoid sexual dysfunction of any kind, including premature ejaculation, which is almost always caused by deep rooted anxiety about women.

Yet, because he learned the hard way, he is confronted with many serious problems.

How does one discuss sex with children? How much should they learn? At what age do I start? Must I explain about intercourse?

Suppose they ask embarrassing questions, how do I put them off without saying the wrong thing? What will the neighbors think? Should boys and girls be told the same things? Does a man educate the boys and a woman the girls? And so on...

It is not the bare collection of facts, but the home surroundings, attitudes of parents, the emotional temperature of the home, which really decides whether a child will become a useful adult or a social misfit. An unhappy, maladjusted, emotionally insecure child produces a similar adult.

 Parents who are happy together, who are sexually adjusted themselves and surround their children with love and understanding are not likely to have delinquency problems. 

When parents set a standard, not by lectures and punishment, but by their own outlook and behavior, a child, conditioned to it from birth, is most likely to follow the pattern. See what teenagers themselves have to say about this…

Even before there are any children, it's great to set the emotional atmosphere of the home by a couple being free and frank with each other; by abandoning prudery and all false modesty; by practicing the utmost thoughtfulness and consideration for each other. The eagerly awaited child is born into a world of love and intelligent care.

From the very beginning, his parents never, by tone, word, or facial expression, show disgust, annoyance or amusement at his interest in physical functions or parts of his body.

Even very young babies are quick to grasp the meanings of voice tones, which is why we always talk gently and happily even to infants. The child begins to learn as soon as it is born. As s/he perceives and senses things, s/he stores the accumulated knowledge in its brain, often in the subconscious.

S/he takes for granted the familiar. Having seen his/her parents unclothed from infancy, he/she will know the difference between men and women without ever thinking consciously about it.